Chocolatte Declair!

Saturday, March 29, 2008

Darn, sleepless nights!

So, I am up ENTIRELY too early for it to be saturday. I guess the thing is, that so much has been going through my mind that I have not been able to get the quality or quantity of sleep that I want.

For the past few weeks the one thing that has been consuming my mind has been the whole quest to buy a quality used vehicle. And everything else in my life kinda SEEMED to fall to the wayside or get put on the back burner...(which might not be the best analogy considering the back burner in my trailer is like wayyyy hotter than the other burners and will burn your food up in the blink of an eye...) As you all are intelligent enough to realize there is a reason that I wrote "seemed" in CAPS. and thats because things aren't always as they seem. There are things that I feel are MUCH more inportant than me finding a car right now...Believe it or not ;o)

While I have been consumed with the quest for my own transportation and also the freedom that comes along with it, I am also simutaneously on another journey. And that journey is the journey for love. Not that "I love your smile" or "I love how sexy you are"... But something real.

They say good things come to those who wait and I realize that. Yet, I wonder when will I find what I'm looking for? Yo....Nick cannon is WACK! Random thought again.

Anywho, in this whole quest for love, I have always longed for someone that will accept me for me and love me regardless. Someone who is able to extract my intelligence from my ditzy ass words...Someone who sees that I possess beauty that can be found not only on the outside but also on the inside. Someone who loves my everything... Lyrics to a song that I feel is soooo appropriate right now.

"Everything"

I can be an asshole of the grandest kind
I can withhold like it's going out of style
I can be the moodiest baby and you've never met anyone
Who is as negative as I am sometimes

I am the wisest woman you've ever met.
I am the kindest soul with whom you've connected.
I have the bravest heart that you've ever seen
And you've never met anyone
Who's as positive as I am sometimes.

You see everything, you see every part
You see all my light and you love my dark
You dig everything of which I'm ashamed
There's not anything to which you can't relate
And you're still here

I blame everyone else, not my own partaking
My passive-aggressiveness can be devastating
I'm terrified and mistrusting
And you've never met anyone as,
As closed down as I am sometimes.

You see everything, you see every part
You see all my light and you love my dark
You dig everything of which I'm ashamed
There's not anything to which you can't relate
And you're still here

What I resist, persists, and speaks louder than I know
What I resist, you love, no matter how low or high I go

I'm the funniest woman that you've ever known
I'm the dullest woman that you've ever known
I'm the most gorgeous woman that you've ever known
And you've never met anyone
Who is as everything as I am sometime
-Alanis Morissette

And that's how I feel right now...

posted by Chocolatte @ 8:22 AM

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