Chocolatte Declair!

Saturday, April 12, 2008

Mr. Good enough...

So I was reading my email today and I saw a very interesting article from WebMD. (Very good website by the way...) It was titled "The good enough marriage" Basically the article talked about the concept of "settling" as opposed to waiting for something better. According to the article, it says that alot of people spend time waiting for that perfect person that just will never come...Sounds pessimistic but I must say that there were some very valid points made here...Alot of us nitpick and think that we will find someone that is just about perfect in every way. Personality, looks, career, spiritual views...(Order does
not reflect significance...) We might tend to look down on someone that will make us happy because we are too busy running after an ideal that really might not be as great as it seems. An example can be the girl that won't date short guys....Or the man that only wants women with long hair...Or it could be something such as you can't stand the fact that your boo would rather watch some spike lee movie than engage in the newest slasher film that is out. (wink) Basically worrying about such things means worrying about the trivial or trifling aspects of a relationship. What it boils down to is that there are things far more important that should be considered "deal breakers" when it comes to choosing a potential lifelong
partner or spouse.
In this article that I read:
It says when trying to decide whether u should stay with the person in question you should try to follow 5 guidelines.
So I copied some of the explanations for those guidelines here

1. Compatibility : "Similar styles in living, similar ways of operating, whether more rational or emotional, will help you avoid chronic disappointment,"
2. Sexual Attraction : "You need adequate sexual attraction, some chemistry, but you each don't have to like 17 body parts"
3. Similar goals: If says here that while you may have a huge list of ideal qualities in a mate, narrow the list down to 3 must have traits
4. Respect: self explanatory...
5. Gut check: Follow ur gut instinct about the person...Do you have a bad feeling about them? Good feeling? Any feelings at all?

So basically if you feel that ur significant other fairs well in all those categories then maybe you should consider staying with that person. Basically while we all look for that hot burning fire, I think we must realize that sometimes those
that we have the hottest burning passion for aren't the best mates for us. Nor, are they the relationships that will have longevity and also stability. I personally feel that if I find a guy that can pass that 1 thru 5 checklist, then I am not settling at all! :o) And I think I might know just the guy... ;o)

posted by Chocolatte @ 5:14 PM

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